What do you gain when you lose?

Wow can’t really believe i haven’t updated since August. Not really sure what’s happened with my weight loss/fitness journey since then but i almost feel like i’ve lost my way...

If anyone ever tells you being thin or a certain dress size will make you happy then they are lying. However you felt about your body and the insecurities you had before your weight loss will be the same no matter how your outward appearance changes. When you have finally lost the weight what do you do next? Where do you get your buzz from? When the gym is just to maintain and no longer about that 2lbs loss at the end of the week what do you do next.

I’ve gained 7lbs. Whilst this is a fairly small amount to most people to me this has almost had a devastating effect on me. I am still going to the gym and i am still counting calories yet somehow weight has creeped on. I know my downfall is that when i feel low food is a comfort and maybe even a way of punishment to my body. That’s right, exercise makes me feel good yet i ruined it with that king size chocolate bar on a weekend, you then get that voice in your head telling you you’ve failed, and that you knew you could never do it and keep the weight off cos your FAT FAT FAT and that’s when you give up on your diet and eat crap.

I know this and when i have my rational head on i can do it and be positive and work out however once that voice starts inside you and tells you all these nasty mean things the more it speaks the harder it is to make it shut up.

What is the answer? Do i want to count calories and worry about my weight for the rest of my life? No. Yet i seem to have lost that balance i had before.

To anyone out there struggling with weight, and acceptance you are not alone. Tall, short, fat, thin, wide, slender we all have parts we don’t like and when we change them we will always find another “flaw”.

 What did i gain when i lost the weight? I have more confidence in some ways, but partly that could be my age and getting wiser. I gained fitness and a love for the gym and cooking and new food. What did i lose? I think i lost a part of myself along the way. I definitely lost friends; i don’t really see anyone i used too. Common interests of getting pissed and eating out have changed.. Maybe i got boring with my talk of healthy eating and working out.  

Do i regret it? No.  On a good day i am so proud of what i have achieved. On a bad day that voice sometimes wins however good days outweigh the bad and hopefully my positive voice will be triumphant once more...

I am going to try and focus on the good I’ve done and not the bad.. like wow you ate 3 healthy meals and worked out today and not the you’ve eaten chocolate today you’re a failure. It’s gonna be hard work but this negative cloud i’ve got hanging over me has to go...

This is the last negative day i am going to allow myself this year. I will focus on the good. I will eat well and i will workout and day by day i will let that worry go.

One good thing this week i was told this blog had been inspiring by a friend of a friend who had read it.  Made my year <3

Lazy Day

I am having the most unbelievably laziest weekend and absolutely loving it. I had a busy week and worked out every day so i keep telling myself i deserve a rest but it’s so hard when you’re used to working out not to let that guilt creep in and ruin your day.

Had a little blip this morning feeling abit crappy, the usual voice in my head telling me I’m fat and lazy but i put on my pj’s and relaxed and feeling a lot  better now, i need a rest and i deserve it.

Currently i am snuggled on the couch in my onesie, hair in a top knot, with the duvet and i don’t feel like moving for at least a couple of hours :D

It all comes down to that little voice in my head telling me I’m useless, fat and being negative and it’s down to me to silence it and think rationally that one weekend isn’t going to make me fat and that rest is good. We all need lazy days once in awhile.

It’s also hard when your negative to yourself and you’re trying to be positive that you then have to deal with other peoples negatively as well.

I’ve said it before negativity breeds negativity which is why trying to be positive and not panic is key to a healthy mind as well as a healthy body.

This is why i adore my sister’s confidence and attitude so much and hope one day I can be like her.  My sister is larger than most people, and some might label her “fat” however this isn’t all she is, a label doesn’t define you and we are than one word people want to use to associate us with.

Instead she is a lot of things, she is funny, kind, caring, beautiful, confident, vibrant, lovely and many more things.  I admire the fact that when people say negative things she fights back, and doesn’t allow it affect her she fights back, tries to change people’s perceptions and is constantly pushing social boundaries so that we can all feel accepted in society regardless of dress size, colour, weight, hair style etc.. Where as someone says a negative thing and I’m straight away upset and wanting to binge..

But I’m learning to become stronger, to try and phase out my negative thoughts and to try and let only the positive’s matter.

So i am going to enjoy my laziness today, i am also going to go out for tea tonight and tomorrow i am going to resume my insanity and gym workouts and realise that everything is going to be okay :D

Love Me

xxx

P.S Check out my sisters blog.. http://imawannabeprincess.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Dreaded Doms

 

Wow sore is not the right word for how my muscles are feeling right now. However as the saying goes no pain no gain!

I’m just hoping I’m doing it right and they are only hurting because it’s something new.

The one thing the insanity workout has really taught me is how important form is, and getting the positioning right is more important that doing things fast. It’s all about having control and your holding your core.

The worst thing is the lift is broken at work, so I’m having to use the stairs (once i’ve done my workouts I’m generally pretty lazy) i guess at least I’m burning a few extra calories!

So it was day 2 of the Jim Stoppani Bodybuilding beginner’s programme i kept at the same weights as Monday, and it was really hard doing it whilst feeling a bit sore, but once I’d loosened up i did feel a bit better. 

I’d dreading waking up tomorrow in pain though. What do you all do for sore muscles ?I know plenty of sleep and protein will help repair them but how do you cope when you have doms?

So for tea tonight, i cooked a courgette lasagne, i like to cook something vegetarian once a week, just for a change and to have a break from meat

.

It was bloody lovely, and my meat loving boyfriend really enjoyed it too.

I get majority of my recipes from BBC Good Food. The main reason for this is they have a massive collection, and they always have the calories and nutritional information at the bottom. Perfect for me because i can still cook all my favourite foods whilst making sure I’m on still on the right track.

Also people leave feedback so if everyone’s saying it’s disgusting you don’t bother cooking it!! J

So now tea’s over and done with i think I’m going to watch crap on TV, play with my Degus :D and head to bed for an early night.

Hopefully I’ll not be too sore tomorrow.

Love Me xxx

Monday Motivation

So Monday's are always perfect for starting fresh, whether its a new diet or a new routine for me it's all about motivation on Monday's!


I've decided after 18 months of mainly focusing on cardio i wanted a change i've tried doing weights before but never really had to confidence to stick at it.. its hard to know what your doing and i've always felt like i should just stick to the cardio. I really want to change my body, yes I've lost the weight but i want to look like I'm fit and strong.

After a weekend of reading up on weightlifting and really doing some research i found a brilliant plan on bodybuilding.com by Jim Stoppani which is a 12 week plan for beginners. It talks you through step my step what to do, how many reps/sets and when to step it up a notch.

This really appealed to me as im always better when there's a plan in place and i'm told what to do. I'm going to keep a log to ensure i keep pushing myself and to see if i am getting stronger.


Barbell Bench Press - 15kg 12 reps x 3 sets
Bent Over Row Barbell - 15kg 12 reps x 3 sets
Squats - 10kg 12 reps x 3 Sets
Barbell Shoulder Press - 10kgs 8 Reps x 3 Sets
Lat Pull Down - 25kg 10 Reps x 3 Sets
Barbell Curl - 10kg 8 Reps x 3 Sets
Standing Calf Raise - 35kg 12 reps x 3 Sets
60 Crunches

I know i'm not all that strong yet ;) but i was really focusing on my form and my arms are aching already, so it must be working!

So this is plan for 3 days a week for the first 3 weeks so i am going to do some cardio in between as well as insanity however my main focus is going to be lifting weights and hopefully getting stronger and leaner.

I'm a complete novice so if anyone can offer any advice it would be greatly appreciated!  <3

Hope your Monday was just as motivating :)

Love Me xx

Personal Best

Today has been a good day, after taking a break from working out yesterday due to extreme tiredness i was re-energized for the gym this morning.

It's always good to listen to your body, i am bad at this as i tend to panic if i miss a gym session or mess up my schedule but a tired body isn't going to work well and rest is just as important as working out.

So i loved my little lie in yesterday and even better my lovely boyfriend took me out for a meal in the evening. After a couple of busy weeks it was lovely to spend some quality time together and the food was gorgeous,

We went to Pizza Express and it was my first time, the prices were quite expensive however we luckily had some vouchers ;)

I was also very impressed as they had an under 500 calorie pizza range, which is perfect for me as i know i can enjoy my meal out yet not worry too much that I've gone overboard...although the McFlurry for pudding might have done that oops!

So today i woke up re-energized and smashed my instantiy workout, it was plyo day which i must say is probably my favorite. Then it was off to the gym, i did about 40mins of cardio, and then onto the weights.

It was leg day today and i was determined to push myself and i managed to lift this bad boy...

Definately my best yet, although i think when i cant walk tomorrow i might regret it ;) Also tried some deadlifts today but i think my form was a bit messed up as my lower back is hurting so i'm going to have to work on that some more next week!

Also got my hair chopped today, first time this year oops no wonder it was like a birds nest.. I'm now sporting a lovely bob which is much better and it looks so much healthier :) Another treat from my boyfriend (spoilt ;) )

Tomorrow is pure cardio day, so should be an easy day that's if my muscles aren't sore.. might have a get some extra protein in before bed.

Hope your all enjoying your weekends :)

Love Me xx

What do you mean you eat?

The one thing that really gets my back up is people ASSUMING that I must have starved myself to lose weight, WRONG ,WRONG, WRONG!.

I know I have worked damn hard to ensure I am eating right, eating enough and people thinking I took the easy way and just starved myself is frankly insulting.

I actually eat a lot, and I try to eat every 2-3 hours to ensure that I keep that metabolism pumping.  I often re-jig my eating plans around depending on certain goals I have set myself, this keeps me interested in what I’m going and often helps me focus when I’ve gone off track a bit.

When I was focusing on actual weight loss, I used to count calories this kept me on track and also allowed me to see what I was putting into my body and how much I need to give me the energy to workout. Remember food is fuel when you’re working out you need to re fuel your body to allow it to heal and grow and most importantly burn the fat. If you don’t eat enough your body is going to cling to that fat for dear life. So it’s important to reassess regularly depending on your goals to make sure you are eating enough, or to make sure you’re not going the other way and eating too much. It really is a complete balancing act.

At the moment I am trying to build muscle, get stronger and leaner so I am focusing on high protein foods every few hours. 

I love breakfast and it’s my favourite meals. I say meals because I do all of my workouts in the morning so this is when I need the most food to fuel my body to give me the energy to do the crazy workouts I do.

I am currently doing the insanity 60 day challenge I am on the second week and it’s very hard, very demanding but I absolutely love it. Once I’ve managed to convince myself to press play.

I do all of my workouts in the morning. Mainly because I am an early riser anyway, but also it gets it out of the way, I don’t have a chance to talk myself out of it or make up excuses as to why I can’t do it, I get up get it done and then get on with the rest of my day.  I also find it helps me feel energised for the rest of my day and I find on days I don’t go I am a lot more lethargic and strangely this is normally the days I crave junk food and want to eat more.

So I wake up at 4.15 every day (this really isn’t as early as it sounds ;) ) – I start the day with a frozen banana. I love this because it’s cold and refreshing when you just wake up and you can take your time eating it. The first hour of the day is MY peaceful time; I can catch up with the Kardashians, read the papers, and watch the soaps all in peaceful bliss whilst my boyfriend snores away in the next room.

5.15 I do my insanity workout depending on which day I’m on. This usually takes between 30 -40 minutes.

I then have around half an hour to “rest” and get ready for the gym J On these days I will have 5 eggs whites scrambled they are full of protein and really filling but without making you too full to work out. When I don’t do insanity I will have an earlier breakfast and I will take my time both cooking and eating it. My favourite indulgent breakfast at the moment is an egg white omelette. To this I add onions, peppers, cherry tomato, spinach and feta. So not only is it packed full of protein but you’re practically getting your five a day in one meal!!

I then go to the gym for 50 minutes which is the most I can fit it before having to get ready for work  - At the moment because my focus is getting stronger and leaner I am pushing most of my focus onto weights. I generally do about 20mins cardio to warm up, and them 30 minutes weights. I am to do 8 reps of whatever weight I am doing and when I can do 8 easily I go up a higher weight. I focus on one body part daily so either arms, legs or abs. I am completely new to this, so I still have a lot of research and reading to do on the subject but I am just trying to lift heavier, whilst keeping form and trying to push myself each day.

So after the gym its breakfast number three - I have a bowl of no added sugar muesli, with a tablespoon of peanut butter, topped with a  chocolate protein shake instead of milk. It’s absolutely delish, tastes like it should be naughty, but it’s full of goodness.

Then at roughly 10.30 I will eat two boiled eggs or a chicken thigh (yum yum) 

12.30 It’s a tuna salad, with loads of lettuce, cucumber, peppers, tomato and spinach

15.00 It’s a chocolate smooth protein shake mixed with water.

17.30 Its Dinner/Tea Time and for this meal I always try and cook something different. Because the rest of 

my day is pretty similar day to day this is the one times I can experiment and eat some variety.

Tonight it was something that looked like this...

 

So there you go, I do eat... ALOT!

Love

Me xx

My Loose Lips Start Talking!

Hello World!

My Names Lisa, I am a 26 year old woman who in the past 3 years has been down, up and back again and I’m looking to use this blog as an outlet for me and to hopefully help and inspire others who maybe have similar confidence and body issues.

I have been on a long quest for happiness now and I think I have come to realise that happiness doesn’t come down to just one thing. Happiness is a fleeting emotion and sometimes you don’t realise you were happy until sadness strikes.

I naively thought that being overweight was the reason I was unhappy and that by being “skinny” I would find this magic happiness and life would be perfect.

However happiness isn’t a certain body shape, a dress size, or a gap between your thighs it’s something far more and far less. Having lost over 6 stone I am still left with the same baggage, the same insecurities and I still have “fat” days, I just do it wearing a size 10 dress instead.

Happiness is the small things in life, and these small things add up however we have to acknowledge all the small things and appreciate them when they happen. This is something that as humans we struggle with, as if you’re happy you are seen as gloating or boastful and instead we are drawn to bitterness and negativity which is draining.

However to help reach my own goal of happiness I decided to get healthy and the losing weight part came along with that. The thing I am most proud of is not that I am smaller and thinner but that I set out do something and I stuck at it. I never gave up and if anyone knows me they know I do not have the best willpower I am dippy and silly and I have a short attention span.

But...

I now LOVE going to the gym, I love working out and being active, I love eating healthy and cooking new meals and slowly day by day I'm trying to learn to love myself even if my arse is still wobbly and my tummy sticks out.

So this blog is my chance to rant, it’s a massive step for me as I do tend to bottle it all up, but I’m hoping I can use this as a sort of therapy and maybe I can help other people along the way who want to learn about healthy eating and positive thoughts.

Off for a green tea now, cooking tea for my darling sister later so I’ll try and post some pictures.

Love 

Me
xx